change: the inevitable

So I feel like I've always known this but it's never been quite as apparent as it is at this particular stage in life: CHANGE. Change that just comes at you and there's not much you can do about it besides fight it (which ain't happenin) or accept it and just roll with it. 

I think our world really changed last February when our first son Russell was born. Everybody kept saying "you're life is about to change so enjoy it while you can" and all kinds of other comments were made in a demeaning way about kids NOT being such a great thing. Y'all, when Russ was born, it's like things were finally the way they were supposed to be; like we had been missing something all along and now that empty space was filled. Russell completed our family and has brought constant happiness since the moment he entered this world. I know people say that about their kids then turn around and are talking about how they would do anything to go back to a time before kids, but I will give you a million dollars if you EVER catch me saying anything of the sort. For my husband and my kids: that's what I'm living for. Previously, I was a preschool teacher and I absolutely loved my job but being a stay at home is for sure the best job I could ever ask for. I know so many people aren't fortunate enough to be able to stay home with their kids and though we aren't living large, I'm thankful my husband makes enough money to allow me to be stay at home. Being at home, I have been able to witness every moment and new thing of Russell's growing up. I was able to actually capture on video the very first time he rolled over during tummy time and his first steps - technology can be very handy at times like these! We celebrated every day he did something new and every grin and giggle, things that you can just never get back. 

This past November, we found out we were pregnant again! Do I tell you my real feelings or do I pretend I was over the moon so excited? Okay, the truth... My feelings were very mixed. Part of me of course couldn't believe it, however, four pregnancy tests, an ultrasound, and a baby bump later, I guess it was real. Oh, did I mention that a few days prior to me learning of this pregnancy my husband had just accepted a new job that would force us to move? Yes, it was a bit overwhelming to say the least. Part of me was excited because we had always wanted two kids close together, though not necessarily this close. A major part of me didn't accept it for such a long time because I feared the worst would happen: miscarriage. We had experienced it once before and we were afraid to get too excited because we knew what could still happen. Then, part of me was sad for Russell. I know some people think that's silly, but I still feel this way to an extent. These first few years are so special. There are so many things that your child is learning for the first time and you want each thing to be special and nothing to take away from it. A fear of mine is that Russ won't get all the attention he deserves especially when he has more of his 'first' moments.

We put our house on the market in December and started looking for a place to live a few hours away where Hunter would be starting his new job. Knowing now that we would be having two kids soon, we didn't want to live in an apartment. A lack of speedy interest in our current house caused us to sign a six month lease on an apartment to hopefully buy us a little time to where we could sell our current home and buy a new one locally before baby #2 gets here. After what seemed like FOREVER waiting for someone to make an offer on our house, we finally got one and should be closing on the house in less than a week. Of course we had been looking a little bit at houses up here and finally found the perfect house nestled on 2.5 acres of land! We should hopefully be closing on that house in the next month. Praise God!

Through all this change, I've just kind of been along for the ride. I wasn't too terribly excited to move because I absolutely DESPISE the moving process. Packing, unpacking, settling, repacking, moving, nice furniture getting messed up, stress of disagreeing over silly little things: moving is just not my thing. After about a month in our tiny apartment, I realized this is all part of the journey. I don't want to look back on my life years from now and wish I would've embraced the change and enjoyed it instead of moping and complaining because things were not the way I thought they were supposed to be. When we found out we were having another little boy, our excitement grew... like times ten! Not gonna lie, I am a little nervous about having two under the age of two, especially two boys - I am going to have my hands full! But I am finally choosing to accept this change and find happiness in all the little things. Russ started walking this week. I know he's over a year old and most everyone else's kids have been walking by this point, but we are really excited! Each new stage is so much fun and I just love being able to be there for every moment. With less than three months until Rhett arrives, we will have a lot more change taking place in our lives, but I know that it's all for the good. 

I love the way that Jesus is writing my life!